i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
