i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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