"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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