Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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