Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
