mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
