Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
