My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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