some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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