Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize