she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
