i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she peed on how many people?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
