They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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