You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I didn't notice because vodka
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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