Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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