You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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