Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
