even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
