OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
