god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
