If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
