I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
