oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
