She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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