we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
