that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ugly people sure do ruin things
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
