so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
