He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
