i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
