Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
