you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
