I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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