he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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