were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
