1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize