ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
