yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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