He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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