I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
