i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
