I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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