Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You left your phone here
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