hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize