was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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