Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
