I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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