**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
