CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
