you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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