I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
