Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
