Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
