if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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