Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
