just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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