it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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