Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
