I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
false alarm, still single
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
