Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
