on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
