The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
