Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She even gives head with a lisp.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize