I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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