I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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