We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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