brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just google imaged poop.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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