it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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